Its my Birthday today.....! Is it...?

When a tooth is lost, the tongue goes there automatically frequently! Same way when a close one is lost, we look out for him/ her every moment!

Today's my first birthday that I celebrated without my DAD. (celebrated??? I doubt that)

Whats use of a Birthday when you don't have the one who gave you Birth!

These are the frequent thoughts I have been fighting the whole day today.

But life is to move on.

You can't go with the gones, you have to be with the living ones.

You have to hide your sorrows, your sadness, your emotions from the outer world.

You have to be positive, progressive, cheerful.

Thats the way to live life.

But we simply can't digest the suffering that a loved one goes through!

For me I had to decide early on whether I was going to become bitter or better for going through it with Dad. I chose better. I wanted to feel it, learn from it, and grow because of it. It’s not easy to open yourself up to the experience but if you can it will make you a stronger version of yourself.

Daddy......! You are not with us now.

But you are now in our hearts, in our minds, in every nook and corner of the house.

Before when we hide anything from you we knew you will not know that.

But now you are ubiquitous. Now we cant hide anything from you.

You are watching from there...up there. Anything we do or we think, you will know instantly. So we have to purify our actions more now to not let you down.

You be assured that we will abide by all the virtues, values, principles that you have imbibed into us.

God please help me & my family to bear the loss. God give us strength to bear this all! For that is all I have always asked God for- to gimme strength to bear the pitfalls and never asked to take away my sufferings, for I have to suffer what I have to! That is the law of KARMA!

Law of KARMA...! Sometimes I feel that is flawed either....

Regards

RN